He doesn't like me, right?
by Hoshi-Ryuu
Summary: Set after Sirius' death and before Dumbledore's funeral. Tonks is thinking of Lupin again, but she knows he doesn't like her..does he? RLXNT
1. Chapter 1

Hoshi- Good to see you alls again. Hoshi-Ryuu is back with another story! This is about Lupin and Tonks, one of my favorite pairings! This is before the funeral and after Sirius' death. Read on and Reviews would be loved. If the characters seem out of character at some point, my apologizes, this is one of my firsts with the Order.

I do not own HP or anything from the HP world.

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Tonks walked into #12 Grimmauld Place, she looked around and sighed, walking up the stairs torwards the kitchen.

_"It's gonna be a long day. We have to learn to keep our guards up, especially after.."_ her thoughts stopped, she looked down. She had been having a hard time since it was her cousin who had died that last year. She remembered when she was younger how they used to be alittle close.

_"Tonks, let's play!"_

_"I don't want to!"_

_"Aw, c'mon..Nymphadora!" yelled the younger Sirius laughing and running away._

_"Don't call me, Nymphadora!" yelled the younger Tonks._

Tonks smiled remembering her past. She and Sirius had always gotten along, but they didn't see eachother alot, as she was younger than him.

She continued into the kitchen and sighed, "Wotcher everyone." she said, sitting down beside Ginny who was eating breakfast.

"Morfin, Tonks" she said looking over. She was eating pancakes and had her mouth full.

"Morning, Gin." she said lookin back at her.

Mrs. Weasley walked in, "Tonks, you hungry?"

"Yes please." she said nodding. Even though at the moment, she had been staying at the L.C. Tonks felt finally at home. Her parents were allowing her to come home if needed, but she wanted to prove she could handle herself, after all, she was 23.

As she started to eat, she saw a familiar face walk in.

"Hello Nymphadora, sleep well last night?" he asked.

It was Remus Lupin. The only man who could call Tonks 'Nymphadora' without her flipping, the one man who could make her feel incredible, even if he was a werewolf.

"I-Oh, yes, I did." she said nodding and looking away blushing a slight pink.

She could almost hear Sirius' voice.

_"You know you like him, why don't you try to get 'close' with him, huh Tonks?"_

Tonks shook her head slightly, she sighed. Only Sirius would tell her that much. She knew that deep down, Remus didn't like her.

_"Why would he like someone as clumsy and tomboyish as I am? I wouldn't ever pass as a gentle lady.." _she thought as she poked her pancakes.

"Nymphadora?"

_"I mean, how could anyone like me?"_

"Um..Nymphadora?"

_"I'm just stupid and all I can ever do is catch Death Eaters and other Dark Wizards, never guys I like.."_

Mad-eye walked in and hit her over the head, "NYMPHADORA!"

She looked up, "Wha- DON'T CALL ME NYMPHADORA!" she said, her hair turning a dark red.

"Lupin was trying to talk to you." said Mad-eye glaring at her.

Tonks looked over at Remus, blushing alittle and her hair turning back to normal. "I..sorry Remus, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay, you were just poking your food and mumbling." he said looking at her concerned.

"I-Oh, yes. Sorry, just..thinking." she said softly.

Kreacher walked in and looked at Tonks glaring. "Stupid Mudblood in my masters house..2 mudbloods who are in the house of Black..dispicable." he grumbled.

"Kreacher! Enough!" said Mad-eye looking over at him.

"You have no right to punish Kreacher. You is not Kreacher's master." said Kreacher, staring at Mad-eye.

Mrs.Weasley looked over, "As Harry is your new master, he does have the right to punish you...but he's not here, so at the moment, Tonks would be your mistress."

Tonks looked up, "Me? W-What? Why?"

"You're related to the Blacks through your mother..and as Harry isn't around, you are his mistress." she said nodding.

Kreacher looked at Mrs. Weasley, then at Tonks. "She's not Kreacher's mistress! Kreacher is not having a MUDBLOOD mistress!"

Tonks got up, she got her wand out in an instance. "What..did you call me?" she said, glaring and ready to attack.

"You heard me, mudblood!" yelled Kreacher and he took off running.

"Nymphadora! Calm down!" yelled Moody looking at her.

Mr.Weasley and Kingsley were holding her back, her hair a dark maroon and her eyes glaring coldly torwards Kreacher's direction.

"That stupid little git.." she mumbled, being forced to sit down and she sighed, leaning on the table now, her elbows supporting her arms up. "I hate that elf..Why would I ever be his mistress?"

"Well, you technically are at the moment Tonks, as mum said. And he knows it too." said Ginny nodding.

She looked over, "I can't..ugh, I'm gonna go for-"

"You aren't leaving this kitchen, Nymphadora.." said Mad-eye looking at her.

"Don't call-"

"Shut up, we're gonna have a meeting..about the Death Eaters disguises lately.." said Mad-eye and all of the Order members sat down in the kitchen, forcing any kids in the room to leave.

"What do you mean, their '_Disguises_'?" asked Tonks looking at Mad-eye.

"Nymp-Tonks, don't you pay attention?" asked Mr.Weasley. "They've been using disguises..that's why we're gonna have to identify eachother before we come into Grimmauld Place so we know if its eachother, or a Death Eater in disguise."

Mad-eye nodded, "Exactly. So, we'll have to give our full information on ourselves to make sure that its eachother."

"An example would be.." started Kingsley.

"I am Arthur Weasley, married to Molly Wealsey, member of the Order of the Phoenix, father of 7children, I work at the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office for the Ministry of Magic and reside at the Burrow." said Mr.Weasley looking at them all.

"Do you all understand?" asked Mad-eye.

They all nodded.

"When do we start this, Mad-eye?" asked one of the newer members, by the name of Loo.

"Tomorrow morning." he said nodding. "I'm going to Diagon Alley, I don't know about you all." he said and walked out.

A few people started to leave, Tonks sat there and Mrs.Weasley came up by her, "Are you okay, Tonks?"

Tonks looked up with a fright, "Oh, yes. I'm fine, Molly."

The kids came in and Fred and George sat on either side of Tonks.

"You look pale, Tonks." said Fred.

"Yea, maybe you should eat." said George.

"No guys, I'm fi-"

"Here, drink this." said Lupin passing her a vile.

"What is it?" she asked, looking at it.

"Pepperup potion." he said and smiled alittle, passing a Chocolate Frog across as well. "Eat."

She blushed and started to eat it, Lupin left the room and the twins smirked, "You like him!" they said together.

Ginny walked in and sat across from Fred. "Is it that obvious?"

"Guys, no offense, but he doesn't like me..so I'm gonna leave him alone." she said and started to get up.

"Oh, but Tonks!" said Fred smirking. "Don't you wanna 'cuddle' with him?"

"Oh 'nuzzle' either?" asked George smirking as well.

Both boys were laughing slightly, Tonks however was not amused.

"You two.." she glared, her wand now out. "Knock it off, he doesn't like me, so drop it!"

They stared at her and she got up, grabbing her coat and walking out.

_"I know they meant well, but they're still young, they don't understand! I've like Remus John Lupin for years and he doesn't like me..all because he's a werewolf, doesn't think it would work, and he thinks I'm too young, that this is just a CRUSH! He's wrong!" _she thought and went into the L.C.

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Hoshi- Well, that's all for now. Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. See you in Chap. 2.


	2. Chapter 2

Hoshi- I have returned and am ready for a new chappy. Anyways, this ones going out to my first reviewer of this story, CimmieIzzle  
-hugs her- Thanks for all of your inspiration. Now, on with the Chappy and I don't own HP.

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Tonks got inside and sat at the counter, ordering a butterbeer and then heading out to Diagon Alley. She took a sip and sighed, "I can't believe how childish I've acted today.." she mumbled as she walked.

She looked ahead of her and saw a man in a dark cloak, she looked away, she knew it was Nott. He was probably coming from the Ministry, she knew she couldn't attack yet, so she kept looking away. He had headed down to Knockturn Alley.

_"Maybe I can follow him.." _she thought and started to follow, looking around the dark alley.

A few wizards looked at her funny, she sighed and went into another alley, changing her purple hair to a black and her eyes darker. She looked around, spotting Nott again. She started to follow and he stopped, looking back. Luckily, Tonks looked away.

"Something wrong, Nott?" asked a man.

The man known as Nott looked back torwards Tonks way. "Something's...strange.." he said and walked up behind Tonks. "Hey! Have I seen you before?"

_"Crap, act like a Death Eater, act..mean.." she thought. _

"I don't know how you would know me, I've just been around." she said smirking evilly.

"Have you? What's your name?" asked Nott, his wand out.

A few other DE supporters looked around.

"It looks like that girl, Tonks..from the Order." said one glaring.

"Nah, couldn- maybe it is." said another.

_"How can they tell?" _thought Tonks looking around.

"Let me see your wand." said Nott, carefully.

Tonks grabbed her wand.

"What type..is it?" asked Avery, now by Nott.

"Unicorn hair, Mahogany, 12 inches." said Nott. He looked at Tonks. "Nymphadora?"

Tonks clenched her hand in her robe, not moving. "Who's Nymphadora? I'm Meria Jacon." she said glaring. "How dare you call me a mudblood!" she yelled her wand out at his neck.

Avery jumped forward, "Let him go.."

Tonks glared, she heard footsteps behind her, as she turned to look, she felt her head spin. Someone had hit her with a knock out spell.

_"Tonks, Tonks! Get up!" _

_"W-What? Who's that?" _

_Sirius appeared infront of her. "Get up, Nymphy."_

_"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she yelled and he smirked._

_"Tonks, wake up, it's the middle of the night.." said Sirius helping her up._

"SIRIUS!" she yelled and looked around.

It may have been a dream, but it felt real. She got up and looked around, he was right. Complete darkness. Tonks checked her coat. Everything was there.

"Thank goodness." she mumbled and started back to Grimmauld Place.

She got there and knocked on the door, Mad-Eye went to the door, "Who's there?"

"Mad-Eye! Let me in!" she yelled.

"Who are you?" he asked, glaring through the eye hole.

"I am Nymphadora Tonks, Daughter of Andromeda and Ted Tonks, Order of the Phoenix member, Auror and was one of your closest students.." she said looking at him.

Mad-Eye nodded and let her in. "Sorry about that.."

She took her hood down, "It's..okay.." she said, rubbing her face, it had been really windy and she had blood marks on her cheeks.

Molly ran forward, "Tonks, dear, what happened?"

"Ran into some Death Eaters at Diagon Alley. I need an Order meeting NOW." she said looking around.

All of the kids left the room and the Order all turned to Tonks.

"Okay, Tonks..tell us, what's going on?" asked Molly sitting down.

She sat down and sighed, "I ran into Nott and Avery. They were..they were.." she stopped, trying to think. "I didn't see what was going on, But..I got cornered. I had to disguise myself as a Dark Wizard to follow them..and they found out somehow that it was me. They knocked me out before I could find out more."

"When was this?" asked Kingsley.

"Earlier..about..9ish." she said rubbing her head.

Molly brought her a cup of tea and put a blanket on her shoulders. "Here you are dear."

"Thanks." she said and looked at them. "I'm not sure what they were doing though, that's what made me angry."

Lupin looked at her, "Did they harm you though?"

"Not really, besides the small cuts."

"Anything taken?"

"No."

Lupin nodded "Good. Well, is that everything then?"

Mad-Eye nodded, "Okay, let's all meet up tomorrow night for a meeting."

They all agreed and walked out. Tonks was sitting at the table, drinking her tea.

Lupin meanwhile was sitting across from her. "Nymphadora, are you sure you're okay?" he asked concernedly.

She blushed and looked up, her hair turning a slight pink. "I..yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking a vile. It was a full moon.

Tonks nodded, "I'm fine." she said blushing.

_"I don't care if he's a werewolf, I love him..I can't believe he doe-"_

"What are you two doing up so late?" asked Lupin.

Tonks looked up from her thoughts. Fred and George had walked in.

"Eh, we thought we would check in on our dear, friend Tonks." said Fred smirking.

"Yes, we heard she was attacked." said George, sitting next to Tonks on her left, as Fred on her right.

"Right. Well, I will see you all in the morning." said Lupin leaving the room.

Tonks watched sadly as he left. She glared at the twins.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TWO HAVE TO POP IN?" she yelled harshly at them, her hair a maroon again.

Fred winced. "Tonks, we just..wanted to see how you and Lupin were doin-"

"WE WERE FINE BEFORE YOU TWO CAME IN! I ACTUALLY HAD HIM WORRIED ABOUT ME!"

George looked at her, "You don't..have to ye-"

"WHY NOT?" she yelled and glared, her face soon softened. "I..guys, I'm sorry.."

Fred and George glared, "Excuse us." they said and walked out.

Tonks got up, "I..Fred..George.."

They looked back from the stairs, giving harsh glares and went upstairs.

_"Just brillant. I got two of my closest friends mad at me! I can't believe I got attacked, I let my guard down.." _she thought as she sat back down in the kitchen, looking into her tea. She felt a small smile cross her face. _"Although, I was shocked that Remus was worried about me! Maybe he does like me!" _she smiled alittle more.

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Hoshi- Well, hope you all enjoyed, especially you, CimmieIzzle See you all in Chap. 3


	3. Chapter 3

Hoshi- Look who's back! I'm here again with Chap. 3 Thankies for helping me get started on this story, to all who have read. Let's move on.

I don't own HP (as usual)

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The next morning was fairly quiet. The twins came downstairs, ate their breakfast and went back to a room, working on more for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Ginny and Hermione were talking quietly in the kitchen, Ron and Harry were in another room, (maybe in the Drawing Room), and Tonks was in the kitchen as well, looking at the Daily Prophet.

She looked up from the paper and saw Lupin walk in.

"You want a cup of coffee, Remus?" asked Molly, looking at him.

"No, no thank you, Molly." said Remus sitting across from Tonks. "Ah, you look a bit better today."

Tonks looked up, hiding her blush, but her hair turned a light pink. "Oh- um..yeah..alittle bit, I think."

_"I can't believe myself...I'm blushing again! He doesn't like you, Nymphadora! Ick, I called myself Nymphadora! WHY ME?"_

She mentally kicked herself and took a sip of her tea that she had just poured.

Remus stared at her, _"I wonder what's wrong..She's not acted like herself lately. Maybe that attack got to her."_ he thought and took a muffin that was on the table.

Mrs.Weasley looked at the two, "Are you both feeling okay?"

Tonks looked up,"Yes, I'm fine Molly, thanks." she said and got up, walking out of the room, soon being stopped by Mad-Eye.

"We need more information on what happened last night, Tonks." he said, looking at her.

She looked at him, her arms now folded across her chest. "Moody, I told you all I know. I don't know much more."

"We need to find out, who else was there." he said and they soon had the whole Order of the Phoenix in the kitchen again. Little did they know, the twins were using the Extendable Ears again so Ron and the others could hear what was going on as well.

"Now, what else do you remember from last night, Tonks?" asked Kingsley.

Tonks looked up and saw they were all staring at her, of course. "I told you. I don't remember alot. What do you want to know?"

They all looked at Mad-Eye.

"Who all was there?" he asked, his eye only turning to face Tonks.

"I told you, Mad-Eye. Nott was the main one I saw..Avery as well. Then there were a few others. What does it matter?" she asked, looking at him.

"It matters alot, Tonks." said Mr.Weasley. "The Death Eaters now know that you were in Diagon Alley, it might not be that easy to try to escape anymore."

She looked down, "But..I told you what I know! That's all I DO know! What else do you want from me? I told you that was all I remembered! I WAS KNOCKED OUT AFTERALL!" she yelled now steaming and glaring. Her hair had turned a dark red, the darkest anyone had ever seen it when she was angry.

_"Why can't they all just understand? That was all I remembered! I was knocked out, and they don't get that.."_ she thought and looked around, they all stared at her. She felt her face pale and blush a small color into her face. Remus was staring at her in shock, as he hasn't seen her flip out that bad..ever. Heck, none of them had.

"Nymphadora, go lie down..you look ill." said Moody looking at her.

"Don-" she stopped and groaned, seeing his sharp glare at her. She got up and walked out, yanking at her hair as she did so.

_"Do I not deserve to live or something? Do I have a death wish upon me already? I can't take this! I.." _she got to the stairs and looked at the door. _"I'm gonna leave..for awhile..a week atleast..but--where to go? I can go to the Leaky Cauldron..or..there's always Mum and Dad's.." _she stopped, now looking down and pulling her coat on. _"Guess..I'll wing it." _ she thought and shut the door behind her, walking out of #12 Grimmauld.

After about an hour of flying on her broom, Tonks soon winded up at the Leaky Cauldron. She walked in and looked around, seeing not many people in there, she went to the counter.

"'Ello, Tonks. What are you doing out of Grimmauld?" asked Tom as she sat down at the counter.

She looked up, "Just..trying to get away. Can I have a Butterbeer, Tom?" she asked and set down 3 Sickles.

"Sure." he said and took the Sickles and passed her the bottle.

Tonks nodded as thanks and took a sip, she sighed and leaned back in the chair.

"How's everything with the Order?" asked Tom in a low voice.

"Ick..It's hard, Tom. Really hard. I suppose you heard about me getting attacked?"

"Yes. Sorry to hear about it."

"I told them all about what happened, and they seem to think there's more to it." she said looking at him and then the bottle again.

A moment later, they heard thunder and lighting. Rain was hitting the roof.

"Eh,...it's raining again.." said Tom sighing. "That's the third time this week.."

Tonks looked out the window. "I..yes. It is." she nodded.

All they heard was screaming from outside, a woman was holding her child crying and a man in a dark cloak stood before them.

"Don't touch us! Please! I beg you!" she yelled.

A young child clutched to his mother. The man smirked.

"Heh, begging won't help you..now..hand me the child..or perish."

"Please!" yelled the woman.

"Avada Ke--"

"Expelliarmus!" yelled Tonks as she walked out, she ran over to the mother and child. "Are you okay?" she asked.

The mother nodded and Tonks looked at her. "Go home, quickly."

Tonks turned to the cloaked man, "You have no right to attack innocents."

He smirked, "Heh, Nymphadora..You were attacked yesterday..you shouldn't be wandering around..alone." he said and got out his wand once more.

Tonks got hers out as well, still gripping it as rain came pummeling down on them. "How dare you try to attack a mother and her child.." she mumbled, her hair a dark color and barely visible in the darkness around them.

"You wanna die? Feel what it's like to die, Nymphy?" he asked smirking.

"I..Avery, I should have known." she said glaring up at him.

Avery smirked, "Who else would it be? Nott is with his family.."

"Heh, I would have thought Nott would be here, but I was wrong.." said Tonks trying to keep strong. She could normally out-talk them.

The rain poured harder, Avery raised his wand and Tonks did as well.

"I'm not afraid of you, Avery." said Tonks glaring, her hair a black and she blended in with the night.

"You should be.._CRUCIO!_" he yelled and Tonks dodged it.

"_STUPEFY!"_ yelled Tonks and she soon looked around, "_Lumos.."_

Avery had gone. Disapparated.

Tonks looked up, seeing the rain pouring on her more and more.

_"What's happening to me? If he hadn't left when he did..he would have gotten me.." _she thought and got up.

She was slowly walking back to #12.

_"How could I let my guard down from before? I mean..it may now be the past..but..it's still haunting me.." _she thought as she reached #12. She knocked on the door and Ginny answered, she let her in.

"I'm not gonna do the verifcation thing. I know it's you, Tonks."

"Thanks Gin." she said and walked in, her hair now a mousy brown and she was soaked head to foot. "I'm gonna..go dry off and clean up."

Ginny nodded, "I'll be in the kitchen, Remus is in there too." she said smirking.

Tonks rolled her eyes as she headed up the stairs.

_"Remus Lupin doesn't like me..I don't see why noone gets that." _ she thought as she walked into the bathroom, locking the door and taking off her coat.

_"Maybe because..he does like you!"_ said a voice in her head.

"_Eh, but..Remus doesn't..he said himself..that he couldn't handle it if we were together, that I'm TOO YOUNG and..it wouldn't WORK. Ick, I hate that."_ she thought as she started the water.

She stepped in and sighed, her head under the warm water and she shut her eyes. "What is wrong with me..I feel..miserable." she mumbled. Tonks looked down at her toes, and then she started to get out a few minutes later, the shower seemed to be only a few minutes long.

After about ten minutes (sorry if it seems to be moving fast) she walked out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. She was in her nightgown and she walked into the kitchen, hearing voices.

"Tonks, you're still up?" asked Molly, looking over.

Tonks nodded,"Yes. I just got back about half an hour ago."

Loo looked over, "I saw how wet you were. Hope you don't get sick."

"I won't. Trust me." said Tonks making a cup of Hot Cocoa.

Lupin walked in, looking at Tonks and Ginny and Molly walked out.

_"Great. If they left, then something must be up."_ she thought as she took a sip of her hot cocoa.

"Tonks, can I talk to you?" he asked.

She nodded, "Sure. Go ahead."

Remus sat down and looked at her. "Nymphadora..I.." he stopped, knowing she didn't like her full name. "Tonks. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard you came in late tonight and it was raining.." he said, getting up alittle and putting a blanket around her shoulders.

"Ye-Yes. I'm fine. Thanks." she said looking away alittle.

"Tonks." he leaned down and his face was on her right side of her face. "I want you to be safe..be more careful."

She blushed alittle and nodded. "I will."

Remus nodded and left the room.

Tonks watched and blushed more. "I..he wants me to be careful?" she mumbled and got up, walking to the stairs. "Remus."

"What is it?" he asked, turning back around facing her.

"You..actually care about me?"

He blinked and nodded, "Of course, Nymphadora, you're my friend, and a great Auror. We'd be in trouble if we lost you."

She looked at him and then looked down, "So..is that all I am? Just an Auror? An extra fighter?"

"Nymph-"

"Tonks, just Tonks, Remus."

"Tonks..I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it, Lupin? Huh? T-" she felt tears brimming in her eyes. "I..I'm just a fighter..and extra weapon against the Death Eaters, am I right?"

Remus walked up, and tried to put his arm around her. "N-No. Tonks, listen to m-"

"NO! I've listened enough. You don't like me so why should I even try to hook up with you? I'm just a _friend_ to you! And How we'd be in _Trouble_ if you all lost me, You say that as if I die, then we all die!" she yelled and her voice was now hoarse, she got up and grabbed her coat and ran outside into the freezing rain, crying harder than ever.

Molly and the others watched, a few kids were on the stairs, some were in the other room.

"NYMPHADORA GET BACK IN HERE!" yelled Mad-Eye from the door.

Tonks hadn't looked back. She was running down the street, looking at the sky.

_"I'm nothing! I'm nothing to the ORDER! I'm just a WEAPON! If they loose me, they loose EVERYTHING! The way he said it, it feels like that he can't do ANYTHING himself!" _she thought and soon came to a park, sitting on a swing as the rain poured down, she looking at the ground.

_"...Nymphadora..are you giving up?"_

Tonks looked up, she then looked down, shaking her head and shut her eyes.

_"Leave me alone.."_

_"C'mon Tonks, you can't be down forever.. I'm sure Moony didn't mean it. Not in that way, atleast."_

_"Sirius, you--How would you know? You're not even HERE!"_

_"I'm always around, Tonks..you know it. Now, go back to #12 and apologize to Moony for yelling at him."_

_"You're not my mother, or father for that matter, Sirius.."_

_"Nympy-Nymphadora.."_

Tonks got up, she blocked her mind from him. "Shut up." she said aloud and sat back down on the swing.

"Tonks!" yelled Mr.Weasley and he ran up. "Tonks, you shouldn't have ran away."

Right behind him, were Loo and Kingsley.

"What happened exactly, Tonks?" asked Loo, behind down by her friend.

"Was it something Remus did?" asked Mr.Weasley.

"N-No..I..well.." Tonks looked down. "It's what he said.." she said looking at him.

"What did he say?" asked Kingsley.

Tonks motioned for Loo to move closer and she whispered it to her.

Loo looked at her. "Oh, Tonks, I'm sure he didn't mean it that way."

"I..I can't help it." she replied, shaking her head.

Loo pulled Tonks away from Kingsley and Mr.Weasley.

"Tonks, listen. Remus is a nice guy, he wouldn't want to hurt you..I..he may not show it, but he does care about you, even if it's not the way you wish for it to be." said Loo looking at her best friend. "Keep at it, He's not gonna be able to deny you for long. I know it." she said smirking.

Tonks cracked a small smile. "Think I should apologize?"

"I think we should get out of this rain, then you can apologize. Kingsley and Mr. Weasley had the right idea, going inside.." said Loo half laughing.

Tonks laughed and the two got up, walking inside and starting to dry off.

As soon as they finished drying off, Tonks pulled on her night robe and walked to Lupin's room. She knocked on the door.

"Enter." said a voice from inside.

Tonks opened the door and walked in, he was sitting on his bed, reading a book.

"Hello Tonks."

"Nymphadora, Remus." she said, smiling alittle.

He smiled just a small bit. "Nymphadora."

"Remus." she started, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry I snapped, I should have known what you meant, and I was foolish and didn't take it like an adult. I'm sorry." she said, looking at him and trying to hide her blush. She couldn't help but blush everytime she looked at him.

"Nymphadora..I didn't mean to make you ups--"

"No, Remus. It was my fault. I didn't realize...nevermind. I'm sorry. I'm just glad that we're not angry anymore." she said, getting up and heading to her room.

Tonks got in her room and lied on her bed, she sighed, looking at the ceiling.

_"Way to screw today up, Tonks..let's hope tomorrow is better, with NO flipping out..I can't believe I flipped on Remus. Now he'll really think I'm a little child..though..since I apologized..maybe he won't think I'm nuts. Eh, but I'm still a clumsy, messed up Auror..oh well, tomorrow's another.. _she yawned and shut her eyes. _"Day.."_

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Hoshi- I think that was the longest one yet. Hope you all like it. Sorry if it doesn't make sense at one part or anything. My head was pounding when I wrote this. Review and I'll see you in Chap. 4


	4. Chapter 4

Hoshi- OMG! Thanks to all who have reviewed! I didn't think anyone would like this story. ; anyways. Here's the fourth chap. Enjoy!

Tonks: She doesn't own HP at all, or me.. 

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Tonks woke the next morning, her hair ruffled and everything as she climbed out of bed. She hadn't realized, her stuff from the L.C. was in a room at #12. She looked around, "Wow.." There was a note on the bedside table.

_Tonks:_

_Thought you could use this extra room instead of staying at the Leaky Cauldron. You may stay here we haven't a problem with it. Your parents won't find out, we promise. See you for breakfast._

_Mrs.Weasley._

She smiled, "Mrs. Weasley is so kind." she said softly.

Tonks got up and showered, soon going downstairs, she felt kinda dizzy. "Wotcher, ever-" she stopped and felt herself fall.

"_Tonks, Tonks, can you hear me, dear?"_

Tonks sat up alittle, her eyes opening slightly, Kingsley and Mr.Weasley had a hold of her. "I..what?"

"Are you alright?" asked Loo, looking at her. "You just..passed out.."

"Do you need anything?" asked Fred, looking concerned.

"Water or something to eat?" asked George.

Tonks turned and saw the twins. "F-Fred? G-George..I thought..you guys were mad at me.."

"Eh, we were." said Fred.

"But, we can't just ignore the best Auror around." said George smiling.

Mad-Eye looked over glaring.

Tonks laughed alittle, "Thanks guys, and I'm fine." she said and saw Lupin walk in, passing her a piece of chocolate.

"Here, eat. It helps, it really does."

She blushed alittle and looked up at him. "Th-Than-" she soon felt herself fall back into Kingsley's arms.

_"What's wrong with Nymphadora? Is she sick?" asked a voice._

_"We're not sure." said Mrs. Weasley._

_"Nymphadora, sweetheart, it's Mum, wake up."_

Tonks slowly awoke, "I..Where am I-"

"You're at the Burrow, dear." said Mrs.Weasley.

"Nymp-"

"TONKS! MOTHER! TONKS!" she said, glaring as she sat up.

"T-Tonks." said Andromeda looking at her. "You're..coming home..I forbid you to have anything to do with the Order again!"

A few heads looked at Andromeda, Tonks glared at her.

"I'm sorry, but my loyalty lies with the Order. I refuse to come home. I'm not a small child!"

"Nymphadora, you don't belong in the battlefield..or a-"

"I wasn't battling, Mother..I had just come downstairs..and I fainted. I've just been weak.." she said and held her head again.

"Are you getting ill?"

"I don't know."

Andromeda sighed, "I normally wouldn't come back around here, but I figured something had happened.." she said and sat by Tonks. "Please..give the Order business a rest for awhile."

"Mum, I can't. I'm a faithful and loyal Auror, till the end, just lik-'

"Like your ancestors, I know, Nymphadora!" said Andromeda glaring. "You don't HAVE to be like them."

"I do too. I love being an Auror, I love fighting to save people, Mum, you don't know what it's like.." she looked at her wand, and then at her mother. "All of those years I trained..it was to become and Auror..now that I am one, I'm not gonna stop my dream just for you!" she said, glaring slightly.

Andromeda glared, "Why do you-"

"Because, I have to..I have to help fight. It's my duty to the Order, and to my mentor." said Tonks looking and seeing Mad-Eye smiling slightly from the kitchen door.

"But-"

"But nothing." she said glaring. "Leave..if you can't handle it." she said and Andromeda glared, disapparating.

"She deserved it." said Tonks, seeing the look on Mrs.Weasley's face.

Mrs. Weasley nodded, "Alright, are you sure you're okay?"

Tonks nodded, "Yea. Thanks Molly." she said and hugged her. "I'm gonna go to Diagon Alley, I'll meet you all at #12 in awhile." she said and disapparated.

As she walked around Diagon Alley, she saw a guy around her age, he had dark brown hair and gray/silver eyes. He smiled and looked at her, "Tonks?"

Tonks looked over, she felt her heart skip a beat, hearing a familiar voice. "N-Noah? Noah Rimean?"

"Long time no see, Tonks." he said, coming over and hugging her. "You've grown, I can see..let me guess..you're..23?"

"Heh, smart guy." she said half laughing.

_"Noah Rimean..he's the last guy I went out with and has been my friend since childhood. He's a pure-blood and he was in Ravenclaw at school. Luckily, he and I were in the same year, it's no wonder he could guess my age, the smart aleck. Eh, he's gotten..cuter..over the past..6 years.." she thought and smiled. "I wonder i- NO! He's not gonna fall for you, and you aren't gonna go after him! Your hearts set on Remus...right?" she thought some more._

"Tonks, how about we, go out sometime..?" asked Noah, smiling.

"I..um..well, maybe. I'll think about it." she said and mentally slapped herself, _"What the hell am I saying?!"_

Noah smiled, "Great. See you later." he said and walked off.

_"What the hell am I thinking today? I can't go out with my best friend..wait..he's just my __best friend__ so maybe I'll..be okay.." she thought and walked into the L.C. and disapparated._

She knocked on the door to #12, Mr.Weasley answered.

"Verification?" he asked, looking through the window.

"Nymphadora Tonks, daughter of Ted and Andromeda Tonks and am.." she stopped, was she gonna say 'married to Remus Lupin?' "An Order of the Phoenix member."

Mr.Weasley let her in. "There ya go, Tonks. Sorry about that."

"That's..okay." she said and walked in, trying to get a grip on herself.

"Ello Tonks, doing okay?" asked Fred smirking.

"Yea, heard you didn't do too hot at the Burrow." said George.

"I..I'm fine, thanks though guys." she said and started upstairs.

As she started upstairs, she saw Remus at the top, he was getting ready to come downstairs. Lo and Behold though, Tonks tripped.

"OW!" she yelled and got up, her knee barely able to bend.

Lupin got down there, helping her up, "Are you okay, Nymphadora?"

"I..yes, thanks, Remus." she said, blushing alittle, her hair turned color again. "Excuse me." she mumbled and ran up the stairs, tripping again and hobbling alittle bit. She got to her room and sat down.

"I could use magic to heal it..but..oh, forget it. I'll let it heal on its own.' she mumbled and slowly lied down.

There was a knock at her door.

"Come in." she said and Remus walked in.

"I thought I would bring you an ice-pack." he said and sat beside her, slowly putting it on the bruised knee.

"Thanks." she said and blushed alittle. "Remus..can I ask you something?"

He looked up, "Yes?"

"D-Do you..like me?"

"Like you how, Tonks?"

She bit her lip, "Well..if you 'like me, like me'.

He looked down, and then away. "Well..Tonks, you know it wouldn't ever work..I'm a werewolf, you'd be in much danger, and also.." he stopped.

She looked at him, "What is it?"

"I'm older than yourself, it would be messed up for us to be together, besides..I know you want a child, my kind can't breed. We normally don't. We can't be together, Nymphadora." he said, looking up at her.

Tonks felt like a piece of her heart had gotten ripped out. "I..oh, I see..well, I'm..goodnight." she said and lied down, turning over. Her hair had turned a dark blue and she was crying softly. Remus sighed and walked out, running a hand through his hair as he shut the door on his way out.

_"I can't believe..he did that! Can't--He--He ripped my heart and soul out! I Can't believe Remus Lupin would be that harsh! I can't believe how much of a fool I am..for loving him..maybe I'm better off with Noah. He and I almost went out.."_ she thought and felt more tears fall. "Mother was right..I shouldn't be an Auror if something like this brings me down!" she mumbled and felt more pain from her knee, shoot into her body and it reach her heart. She cried harder into her pillow and fell asleep.

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Hoshi- AW! Poor Tonks! I feel so bad for her! Next chap will be up soon. Review and see you in Chap. 5


	5. Chapter 5

Hoshi- Chappy 5 is now here. I advise you to all go to my profile and click my Deviantart link and check out my pics from this story. I have atleast one up. Or, I will soon. Anyways, here's chapter 5. This is gonna mainly be a flashback, so there will be a better chapter next time.

Doesn't own squat from the HP world.

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_Tonks looked up, she was in a dream. She looked at the sky, it was dark and gray, her hair a mousy brown again, so she knew something had to be up. The sky grew darker and she soon felt herself falling. _

_"Nymphadora! Grab on!" yelled Remus, trying to reach out for her._

_"Tonks! Take my hand!" yelled Noah, his hand out to her as well._

_"Which hand do I take?" she thought. She reached out for Remus and he took her hand, pulling her up and then pushing her back down into the darkness. _

_"I've never loved you! We can't ever be together, I can't believe you tried to stay with me!" he yelled as she fell once more._

_"TONKS!" yelled Noah and he grabbed her hand, he pulled her up and into a hug. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" he asked, looking quite worried._

_Tonks hugged him. "I'm fine..now that..I'm with you.." she said softly._

"What an odd dream." said Tonks, sitting up slowly.

The sun shone in her room, she ran a hand through her hair.

"I..oh.." she remembered that Remus had pushed her away last night. She had been hoping to talk to him today, but after remembering the night before, she couldn't do it.

"Morning Tonks." said Ginny watching her come downstairs.

"Wotcher." she said sighing. She saw Remus at the table and sighed, "I'm going to Diagon Alley." she said and walked out, grabbing her coat on the way.

As she walked along Diagon Alley, she passed a park, and she saw a mental image of herself and Noah. As she sat down on the bench in the park, she shut her eyes remembering how she and Noah met...

_Tonks was at the King's Cross station, Platform 9 3/4 on Sept.1. She smiled standing by her mother, Andromeda and seeing her talking to a friend of hers. _

_"Oh yes, my son is starting his first year here as well. Noah! Come and say hello!" called the witch._

_A young boy about 11 years old came up. He smiled. "Hi. I'm Noah." he said holding his hand out to Tonks._

_"T-Tonks." she said blushing alittle._

_"Nymphadora, you don't go by your last name!" snarled Andromeda, looking over. _

_Tonks rolled her eyes. "Nymphadora..but I prefer 'Tonks'." she said smiling alittle._

_"Tonks. I'll save you a seat on the train!" said Noah running off to get a compartment. _

_"I like him.." she thought and smiled. _

_A few months later_

_"Tonks! Tonks!" yelled Noah, running down the corridors. _

_They were in their third year and he came running up. _

_"What is it?" she asked, turning around laughing as he hugged her. _

_"I made the team! I made the Quidditch team!" he said laughing._

_She smiled, Noah had always loved Quidditch. Of course, she couldn't try out because she was always too clumsy._

_"You HAVE to watch me play!" he said laughing. _

_"Of course! I always will!" she said nodding._

_Later in the school year_

_The two had become closer friends, Tonks had gotten a note from Noah to meet him by the lake after classes. She sighed and walked out there, not seeing him yet._

_Noah walked out and saw her walking by a tree and soon tripping. He laughed and she blushed getting up. _

_"Hi Noah, what did you want? Shouldn't you be studying?" she said, joking around._

_"Heh, just because I'm a Ravenclaw, doesn't mean I study constantly." he said, crossing his arms. "Besides, atleast I don't trip alot!"_

_"Not my fault!" she said laughing and shrugging. "Get to the point, mister, what do you want?"_

_Noah calmed down and inside was jumping around nervously. "Well..I..um..well," he sighed, sitting down on a rock. _

_Tonks did the same._

_"Tonks..I..I'm not sure how to say this, without getting..killed..but.." he looked down. "Well..I.."_

_"You're gonna die? Is that it?" she asked laughing._

_"No. You wish." he said smirking. _

_"What is it then?" _

_Noah looked at the sky, then back at her. "Tonks..I know, that you're clumsy, but..I don't care..I love how your hair changes, how your a Metamorphagus, I.." he paused for a moment. "This is harder than I thought!" he whispered to himself. _

_Tonks giggled. "Go ahead.."_

_He blushed more. "Well..I uh..I was wondering..if you..wanted to go out with me..I mean, I know we're best friends..but-"_

_Tonks smiled and hugged him. "Of course!"_

_Noah laughed and hugged her again._

_2 years later_

_Tonks and Noah were happily together. Tonks held Noah's hand when they entered Diagon Alley and he let go. _

_"Something wrong, Noah?"_

_Noah looked down, "Tonks..we need to talk.." _

_"Oh no, something's wrong..I did something! I'm dead!" she thought and nodded, "Okay..what is it?"_

_"I..Tonks, I think we should see other people." he said looking at her. _

_Tonks felt tears building in her eyes, her heart drop its joy. "I..Why? Did I-"_

_"No! Tonks, it's not you..I just..think we'd be better off as friends.."_

_"But why! Why? Don't you care about me?" she said, glaring at him, tears slowly coming down her face._

_"Tonks, I have ALWAYS cared and will forever..but..we need to be..just friends..I don't want a girlfriend at the moment." he said, looking at her._

_Tonks glared, "Fine!" she yelled and ran off, tears streaming down her face. _

_With no other luck, she ran into Remus Lupin, a kind man who had graduated Hogwarts awhile ago. She had always had her eye on Remus, but she was always with Noah. _

_"Are you okay, Tonks?" asked Lupin smiling kindly and looking at her._

_She blushed and wiped her tears, "Y-Yes..just..something in my eye, that's all."_

_He laughed, "Are you sure that's all it is?"_

_She looked down. "No..my boyfriend broke up with me.." _

_"Oh..I'm sorry, anything I can do to help?" asked Remus, hugging her._

_"N-No..unless you know how to make the pain go away?" she asked._

_He laughed again. "No, sorry I don't. But- Well, come on. I'll buy you a Butterbeer." _

_They went to Diagon Alley and had a great time, talking and cheering up. Remus hugged her afterwards. _

_"I'm glad I saw you again, Tonks. This was fun." he said smiling._

_"I know what you mean, I can't believe I cried over Noah." she said, looking away blushing, her hair turned a light pink._

_"Heh, you're a Metamorphagus?"_

_"I-Yea.."_

_"That's cool." _

_She looked at him again, "Really? Most people find it odd.."_

_"On the contrary. I think its smart. You can change your appearance to whatever you feel is necessary for yourself. I find it handy." he said smiling as they came to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron. _

_"Well, I better get going..Mum wants me home before dark." said Tonks blushing._

_Remus nodded, walking over and hugging her. "See you around.' he said and walked off._

_"I can't believe I broke up with Noah and found a new love in one day!" thought Tonks as she walked home._

_The next week, Noah came back, _

_"Tonks, I was a fool! I'm sorry!"_

_"You broke my heart into two, my boyfriend..my best friend! HOW COULD YOU?" she yelled at him glaring, her hair was a deep maroon and he knew she was mad._

_"I--Tonks, give me another chance!"_

_"NO! I'm not going to!" she said and walked out of the house, heading to the car with her father. They were going shopping for school things._

_"Plea-"_

_"If you really love me, then leave me alone..if you mean what you say, then stay away from me." she said glaring and got into the car. _

_And after that day, Noah didn't see Tonks as much. Of course he saw her at school, and at Quidditch games, but never outside of school. They never talked and if they did, it was about school, not eachother. Noah had found another girlfriend, Melissa Jonas from Gryffindor, while Tonks on the other hand started to look at some pamphlets from the Ministry about becoming an Auror._

_"This would be great!" she told herself and joined training in her last year of Hogwarts, well, atleast filling out paperwork._

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Tonks half smiled at the memory as she opened her eyes. She and Noah had broken up because he wanted to, on the other hand, she had met Remus that day. She couldn't believe he didn't like her that way, the way she loved him. Tonks shrugged and walked off, heading back to #12.

As she got into #12, there was a note, that had her name on it. She sighed and started to open it.

_"Wonder who this is from..probably Fred and George playing another trick on me.."_ she thought and her eyes widened at the signature.

_Tonks,_

_If you would like to, allow me to take you out sometime for dinner. We can catch up. Hope to hear from you soon._

_Noah_

Tonks stared at the letter. _"How did he know..that I was here?" _she thought and put the letter in her pocket, heading to the kitchen for some dinner and to relax.

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Hoshi- I hope you liked it. It was kinda a hard flashback to think of as I need to think of more for Noah. A pic will be on Deviantart in a few days of Noah and Tonks. I advise you to look if you would like. Review and hope to see you all in Chapter 6


	6. Chapter 6

Hoshi- Here's chappy 6. Hope you enjoy.

Does not own HP

Tonks headed for Diagon Alley the next day, looking around at the books. She soon headed over to a dragon taming section. "I remember reading one of these once." she said softly.

"Fun books aren't they?" asked Noah as he came up behind her.

"Huh? Oh..yeah.." she said nodding in agreement.

"Tonks..are you doing alright? You look a bit pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, for one, you're white as a ghost, and two, I think..your face is partially red.."

Tonks blushed and looked away. _"Damn, he can tell?"_

"Oh..I um..it's just warm in here." she said smiling big.

"Hm..okay, well, how about a Butterbeer? My treat?" he asked smiling.

Tonks laughed nervously and nodded, "S-Sure."

They got into the Leaky Cauldron and she smiled as they sat at a table, drinking their Butterbeers.

Noah looked at Tonks, "Can I ask you something?"

Tonks blushed alittle and nodded, "Yes."

"I dont' wanna be too quick..but..would you go out with me? Even for alittle while?" asked Noah blushing.

_"Woah! That was soo random! Should I..or..ugh, no I shouldn't..then again..what does Remus care?" she thought and looked back at Noah. _"Sure..I'd love to."

Noah blinked, 'R-Really? You're sure about this though..right?"

She nodded, "Yes. We've not seen eachother in years and well..I miss being with you."

He nodded and sipped his Butterbeer. "Awesome. I've always loved you, Tonks, even if you didn't see it."

She blushed, "I..thanks."

_"Wow..this is fun, actually talking to him..but now he's my BOYFRIEND! Eh, he's not bad..but..why am I still thinking of Remus..?" she thought._

Awhile later, the two left the Leaky Cauldron, walking around Diagon Alley.

"Where should we go, Tonks?" asked Noah smiling as he held her hand in his.

She blushed, thinking back to the first day they went out last time. "Um..anywhere is fin-Oh! I have to stop by the Ministry. I forgot something for work." she said suddenly.

"C'mon let's go. We can get there in 5 minutes if we rush, the Ministry offices will be closing soon." said Noah, now jogging with her.

"Wait." Tonks stopped him, "We can just apparate to the entrance."

Noah slapped his head with his hand. "Duh! Why didn't I think about that? See, that's why you're the Auror..not me."

She laughed and looked at him, "Ready?"

He nodded and the two disapparated, soon appearing infront of the Ministry of Magic building.

She walked in, with Noah behind her of course and went to the elevator, pressing the button for the second floor.

"Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement." said a voice.

Tonks and Noah walked out, she led him into an office area and headed over to a desk, pulling open a drawer and a small box. "Good.." she mumbled.

"What is it, Tonks?" asked Noah, his hands in his pockets as he walked over by her.

"Something for home." she said and smiled, "I couldn't just leave it here..someone could get in and get it."

"Is it something wanted?"

"Eh, not really." she said as they walked out, getting ready to floo.

"We're flooing to where?" asked Noah as he got into one across from her.

"Leaky Cauldron." she said and winked as she was off.

Noah did the same and soon appeared in the L.C. seeing Tonks talking to Tom.

"Did you get left behind?" asked Tonks as she stuck her tounge out.

"Haha, laugh while you can, Nym-"

"Don't call me that." she said glaring.

Noah chuckled, "Still haven't changed." he said smiling.

She blushed and started to talk to Tom again, a moment later, Hagrid walked in.

"Tonks, I need to talk to you, it's important." he said gruffly.

Tonks looked over and listened, she nodded, "Right. At the Burrow or-"

"At the Headquarters."

"And Molly said this?"

"Arthur actually."

She nodded and looked at Noah as he was walking over. "Noah, Look, I don't mean to seem like I'm blowing you off, but I've got to go. Order business."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Go get them."

Tonks blushed and walked out with Hagrid, soon getting some gloves on.

"W-Was that young man..Noah?" asked Hagrid looking at her.

Tonks nodded, "Yup. That it was." she said and looked at him, "# you know what, right?"

"Yes ma'am." said Hagrid smiling.

She gave a wink and disapparated, soon appearing at #12's door. She knocked.

"Verifcation." said a soft voice.

It was Kingsley.

"Nymphadora Tonks, Auror, Member of the Order of the Phoenix and a klutz." she said laughing alittle.

Kingsley undid the lock and let her in, "Klutz is right."

She hit him in the arm and walked into the meeting room, "What's going on?"

"A few Death Eaters have escaped." said Kingsley walking back in.

Lupin looked up, "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"So we have to round them up right? Not a prob-"

"Yes it is, Nymphadora!," said Moody looking over from the window. "We don't know if we can catch them."

"But..we normally can. I doubt it'll be a problem. Who escaped?" she asked, hands on her hips now.

"Nott, Avery, Black.." said Moody looking over again.

"We got them back into Azkaban after Sirius though..how did they esc-"

"Noone knows. Bellatrix is still out there if you're wondering.." said Arthur. "It's Rodolphus who's escaped."

"Why does that not suprise me?" said Tonks sighing. She drew her wand out. "I for one am not gonna stand here all night. I'm gonna go round them up."

'NYMPHADORA!" yelled Moody, going up and slapping her.

Everyone looked at them.

"You can't just go in without a plan! They'll get you like they did Sirius!" yelled Moody.

Tonks felt her face go white, Moody knew how much she cared for Sirius! That was her favorite cousin who died that day! She whipped around and ran out of the room and up the stairs, not caring that she was tripping.

_"How could he say that! Sirius knew what he was doing that day! It wasn't his fault! Why did he bring him in like that?" she thought and cried into her pillow._

She came out later that night, she stretched and grabbed the railing of the stairs as she was coming down them. She over heard Moody talking to Kingsley in the kitchen from the stairs.

"Nymphadora's lacking training, Kingsley..I wonder if she's even able to come on the next mission." said Moody as he sat down.

"Tonks is a great Auror though, she learned alot from you.." said Kingsley looking at him by the doorway.

"Her head's in the clouds..she normally thinks first..she hasn't recently. You saw her earlier, she was willing to barge right into where ever they are."

"You know as well as I do that Tonks wouldn't ever do that." said Kingsley looking at him.

"She might. You don't know Nymphadora as well as I do."

Tonks felt tears fall down her face alittle. Her own mentor, her friend..was telling another behind her back, that she was dumb, in a way.

"I don't want Nymphadora to go on this mission, Kingsley..help me keep her here." said Moody, coldly.

"I'll try, but I can't guarentee it." said Kingsley.

Tonks ran up to her room, locking it.

"I'm not comin down for the rest of the night." she thought.

As she lied there, she clenched the small box in her hand as she fell asleep. Waiting for morning to arrive.

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Hoshi- Well, there ya go, Chap. 6. Sorry if it seemed short at all, I went brain dead on this one for a few weeks, Chap. 7 will be up soon! Go check my dA account for the pic of Noah and Tonks!

http://wrathsgurl14. back on the pic would be nice and appreciated!


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